Facing FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
I want to start this post with a small story. My family went to dinner with some friends on Friday night, and I wanted to make a real, concerted effort to be present, without my phone. And it turns out, if one person makes that effort, it seems to spread and be contagious, because we were at dinner for about an hour and a half and phones only made an appearance twice. Once, because we were trying to remember "tan George's" real name (George Hamilton... thanks Google), and once because my son got so tickled trying to tell a story that my husband had to take a video of his struggles--they were truly epic. Both of these were good reminders that technology can enrich our time together instead of distract us!
Usually when it goes off, I feel anxious or aggravated, because 9 times out of 10 the interruption is crap--junk email or a mass text--and it messes me up with whatever I am doing. But I CAN'T NOT PICK IT UP, because of FOMO. My brain goes into a spiral of Just ignore it! It's probably nothing. What if it's not nothing? What if it's my mom calling about my dad? What if it's my husband and there's an emergency? What if all my friends are hanging out without me? What if... what if...
So, I have to do something. I have to make more progress in this little experiment. Deep breath, because now the noticing stops and the action begins. First, I've started leaving my phone at home when I run short errands. I still reach for it, but it feels nice. And it turns out, even when I leave my phone at home for 20 minutes, I don't miss anything important. I am old enough to remember a time when there were just times during the day that you couldn't reach somebody, so you left a message and waited for them to call you back. I don't think it'd be so horrible to get back to that.
Second (and this one is the biggie), I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter apps from my phone. I was a little freaked out by how much protestation my brain seemed to be doing, especially about Twitter. You'll lose followers! You'll miss out on important educational insights! Everyone will move on to the NEXT BIG THING-- and you won't know what it is-- or worse, you'll be a LATE ADOPTER! You're barely relevant as it is! You'll be even more of a nobody!
Geez. I love Edutwitter, but the competitive pressure of it is enormous. Sometimes I'm not sure if I feel more supported by it or beaten down. So anyway, action has been taken! And I'm finding myself with much less of a reason to check my phone, even though the FOMO is giving me the beatdown! Hopefully these actions will begin to significantly decrease the time I'm spending.
And now for the real update: my tracking app predictions were just about right. On average, over the course of the last 5 days, I pick my phone up 40-60 times a day, and spend 3-4 hours on it per day. Ugh. Just seeing it written down there makes me feel even worse. At first, I couldn't believe the "picking up" numbers-- they seemed impossibly high. But then I started to reflect on this number, and I realized that I am constantly being interrupted by my phone. I'm on a leash to it, and I can't seem to ignore it. Even if I silence it, I notice the little LED light when it goes to flashing.
Usually when it goes off, I feel anxious or aggravated, because 9 times out of 10 the interruption is crap--junk email or a mass text--and it messes me up with whatever I am doing. But I CAN'T NOT PICK IT UP, because of FOMO. My brain goes into a spiral of Just ignore it! It's probably nothing. What if it's not nothing? What if it's my mom calling about my dad? What if it's my husband and there's an emergency? What if all my friends are hanging out without me? What if... what if...
So, I have to do something. I have to make more progress in this little experiment. Deep breath, because now the noticing stops and the action begins. First, I've started leaving my phone at home when I run short errands. I still reach for it, but it feels nice. And it turns out, even when I leave my phone at home for 20 minutes, I don't miss anything important. I am old enough to remember a time when there were just times during the day that you couldn't reach somebody, so you left a message and waited for them to call you back. I don't think it'd be so horrible to get back to that.
Second (and this one is the biggie), I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter apps from my phone. I was a little freaked out by how much protestation my brain seemed to be doing, especially about Twitter. You'll lose followers! You'll miss out on important educational insights! Everyone will move on to the NEXT BIG THING-- and you won't know what it is-- or worse, you'll be a LATE ADOPTER! You're barely relevant as it is! You'll be even more of a nobody!
Geez. I love Edutwitter, but the competitive pressure of it is enormous. Sometimes I'm not sure if I feel more supported by it or beaten down. So anyway, action has been taken! And I'm finding myself with much less of a reason to check my phone, even though the FOMO is giving me the beatdown! Hopefully these actions will begin to significantly decrease the time I'm spending.
you could give special ring tones to family so you will know when they are calling. then you wouldnt have to stress about the calls importance. you can give every contact and app its own ring tone.
ReplyDeleteI am so impressed! When I am writing, I leave my phone on “do not disturb” or go put it in my car. It is amazing how much more focused I am.
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