The Great Phone Break-up

Do you ever get the feeling that your entire existence is dictated by whatever sound your phone makes? In my case, every time I hear a snippet of the Harry Potter theme song (dum-dum da-da-dum da-duumm-duumm), I drop what I'm doing and grab my phone. I've been pretty convicted over the last few months that I need to do something to get this addiction under control, and to take back the reins of my own time.

I just finished reading How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price. The 30-day plan laid out in this book, compounded with its focus on mindfulness, seems to be exactly what I'm looking for. So, I'm taking thirty days to regroup on my relationship with my phone. And I'm devoting some of the extra time I'll have to writing more on my blog (probably about how the breakup is going).  This post will serve as both an introduction, and an update on the first two days.

The first question the book poses is, "What do you want to pay attention to?" There are so many answers to that question, and not one of them is "my phone." Personally, I want to pay attention to my family, my friends, our home, and my garden. Professionally, I want to write something to get published and I want to be prepared for next school year. Woven into all of that are my ambitious reading and writing goals for the summer. But mostly, I want to start paying attention to life as it is happening around me, not life as it is filtered through the tiny screen on my phone. 

My trial separation date (a complete phone freeze-out) is set for July 6-8. (I had to set that as a goal as well.) 

TIME I SPEND ON MY PHONE: I estimate that I pick up my phone 30-40 times a day, and spend an average of 3-4 hours on it. It might be higher right now, as I have way more free time during summer break. I hate that I feel like 3-4 hours staring at that tiny screen is probably a conservative estimate. What a waste of time. 

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY PHONE: I love feeling connected to people I admire or am far away from. I love knowing what's happening and reading the barrage of useful information and ideas people are always sharing. I love feeling like we have a line of access to people who would otherwise be inaccessible.

THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY PHONE: I don't love that social media feels so much like a competition that I am always losing. I don't love feeling like there are always really cool things going on that I am not invited to or a part of. I hate being so harnessed to my phone that if it makes a noise I have to stop what I'm doing and CHECK IT RIGHT THEN. 

HOW MY PHONE MAKES ME FEEL: The only time I really feel happy and satisfied with using my phone is either after a conversation with a real live person, or a really high-energy, interactive Twitter chat. Usually I feel depressed and lonely after an extended session of phone use. I also feel physically and mentally drained when I spend to much time on it. My eyes get fuzzy and bleary, and sometimes I get "phone elbow" (it's like tennis elbow, only pathetic instead of athletic).

WHAT I'M HOPING TO ACHIEVE: By the end of this experiment, I hope I am a lot more present with people I know in real life, not just virtually. I want to be better at breaking contact without feeling like I'm missing something, and I'd like to be more structured with why I use my phone. I want to get back my balance, and be more comfortable with downtime and boredom. A little boredom goes a long way for creativity.

So two days down and twenty-eight to go. I've downloaded an app called OFFTIME that will track my phone habits over the next few weeks, so I'll find out if my estimate was accurate or conservative, and start to make some changes. I'll keep you posted!